Clare Cassidy
Professor Farley
Project 3
December 6th, 2024
Importance of conversation
Conversations are how connections are made between people and ideas. The importance of conversation is shown through everyday experiences. Conversation is how people communicate their beliefs and morals. It is how we spread new ideas and make the distinction between good and bad. Sherry Turkle examines the importance of face-to-face communications and goes over the key elements of successful conversations in her essay, “The Empathy Diaries”. Turkle stresses in her essay that empathy is developed through conversation. She states, “Face to face conversation is the most human- and humanizing thing we do. Fully present to one another, we learn to listen. It’s where we develop the capacity for empathy.” (Turkle 344). As we speak with each other we get to fully understand what others are experiencing and going through, however, we also get to be heard. Being heard and understood is one of the best feelings a person can get.
Turkle goes over the negative effects that technology has on deep human connections and how the lack of them causes an absence of empathy. She informs the reader, “This time, technology is implicated in an assault on empathy. We have learned that even silent phones inhibit conversations that matter. The very sight of a phone leaves us feeling less connected to each other, less invested in each other.” (Turkle 344). Phones distract us from one another and give us an excuse to have to connect with each other. So much so that people now unconsciously gravitate towards their phones or a computer even when they don’t intentionally want to ignore a conversation. Technology is slowly diminishing people’s abilities to understand one another and experience deep vulnerable interactions with one another. This “crisis” that technology is destroying the need for empathy. To have a good conversation, people need to have the ability to deeply connect with one another. Being fully prepared to give their undivided attention to a deep, vulnerable conversation guided by empathy ensures a good conversation.
In Malcom Gladwell’s essay, “Small Changes”, Gladwell examens the limitations of social media and the changing world. He compares the present-day forms of activism to the more traditional ones while also giving examples of the contrasts between them. His philosophies surrounding the negative effects that technology has on human connections go hand in hand with Turkle’s viewpoints. Gladwell believes that social media and connections through technology create superficial connections that do not lead to beneficial change (Gladwell 197). Gladwell writes about how social media does encourage conversation but not the right kind. He states, “The kind of conversation that social media enables… is one that lacks intensity, personal commitment, and the shared experience that characterized the civil rights movement.” (Gladwell 194). Technology prohibits those meaningful conversations needed to develop the compassion and empathy that is crucial to making a difference in the world. While facilitating broad communication, technology doesn’t support the depth needed for impactful collective action or thoughtful discourse.
In the article “The Peril and Promise of technology” by, Matthew Clemente and David Goodman, technology is examined as a use of distraction from personal issues that we would like to avoid. The writers state, “Our ever-expanding technological capabilities, he suggests, pose one of the greatest threats to human existence. We often use technology as a means of distracting us from our anxiety, preventing us from asking deeper questions about the human condition and thus concealing from ourselves essential aspects of our own nature.” (Clemente and Goodman). Ignoring our own issues and deep truths prohibits us from two things. One begins able to share with others what we are feeling and going through, and two, being able to understand what others are going through. Self-reflection and a good understanding of your own mind is a crucial part of empathy. Turkle also touches on this in her essay, she states, “…the conversations with ourselves that are the cornerstone of early development and continue through life” (Turkle 344). Giving our undivided attention to ourselves and focusing on our personal flaws and proud moments instead of using technology as a way to suppress our emotions allows us to connect with ourselves and therefore connect with others.
In my personal experience, technology has taken away from meaningful connections that lead to deeper conversations. When I was younger, me and my brother were super close with our neighbors. They happened to be homeschooled by their mom. Their mom did not allow her kids to use any sort of technology for fun when they were kids. My brother and I would go over to their house almost every day after school. We would create elaborate box forts, make games out of the sticks and leaves in the back yard, and play imaginary games. We would do all of this uninterrupted until we all needed to go back to our families for dinnertime. No ounce of technology influenced us or distracted us from one another. As we all got older, we grew apart. Age had a role in this, however, so did technology. My brother began playing video games daily. He no longer wanted to hang out with all of us and did not feel the need to connect with his in-person friends because he could just talk to the friends, he had made online through his head set. I began to find a consuming interest in a new app called Musically when my grandparents gave me my first phone around the same time my brother developed his love for video games. I too was distracted by technology and felt satisfied not having all of the deep connections I had made when I was younger. Technology fills in the gaps of loneliness with a false sense of belonging because you can connect with others over a superficial enjoyment.
In conclusion, to ensure that people and their emotions are not ostracized, we must develop empathy through deep emotional connections and conversations. Sherry Turkle, Malcolm Gladwell, and both authors of the article “The Peril and Promise of technology”, all agree that technology has decreased people’s abilities to display empathetic behavior towards one another. As a whole, humans can attempt to fix the negative effects that technology has caused by choosing to eliminate distractions and face the extensive emotions we all experience by engaging in meaningful conversations.
